


Brotherly love

by Icequeen208



Category: Nightwing - Fandom, Red Hood - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:29:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24836164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icequeen208/pseuds/Icequeen208
Summary: Jason shows up at Dicks apartment in bludhaven and Dick tells Jason a secret that no one has ever told him
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd
Comments: 4
Kudos: 91





	Brotherly love

Dick heard the knock on his door just as he was about to go to bed. He sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair before going over to answer it. Upon opening the door, he found his little brother standing there. His first little brother. He didn’t think Jason would ever come all the way to bludhaven from Gotham. 

“Hey, little wing. What’s going on? Is everything ok?” Dick asked, a concerned look crossed his features. It was 2:00 in the morning.

“Uhh... yeah. Everything’s ok. I just need to talk.” Jason confessed. Dick wanted to embrace his brother but he knew Jason wouldn’t like it and would probably push him away. Jason might even leave and Dick wasn’t risking it.

“Of course.” Dick said, opening the door wider to let Jason in.

Jason went straight for the kitchen and grabbed some chips and a Pepsi.   
After helping himself, Jason sat down on the couch. 

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Dick prompted

“Yeah,” Jason said, though it was clear something was going on with him. Dick couldn’t help but worry about his brother. He worried about all his brothers but he worried more about Jason. Jason never was one to ask for help or even accept it. 

“You’re not drunk.”

Jason snorted. “Why would I be? Do I need to be drunk to come see my brother?” 

Dick shook his head. 

“Of course not. I’m sorry, Jay. It’s just you never actually come see me. Like ever.” 

“Yeah, sorry.” Jason said as if not really knowing how to reply 

“So what’s going on? Don’t tell me you and B had a fight.” Dick said, taking a seat next to his brother 

“No, it’s not that. In fact me and the old man seem to be getting along just fine. Kinda worries me.” Jason laughed 

“Did something else happen then?” Dick asked, stealing some of the chips that was actually his anyways 

“Do you ever feel sad and depressed for no reason at all or you know the reason but you should be over it by now?” Jason said, taking a sip of his drink

“What exactly do you mean?” Dick asked

I just have bad memories is all.” Jason said

“We all do. It’s ok to talk about them.” Dick said softly 

Jason stared down at his lap before speaking again 

“I just... I feel like I’m always the disappointment. There’s nothing I could ever do to make up for all the shit I’ve put all of you through.” Jason said, finally confessing his feelings. Dick felt relieved now that Jason was finally opening up.

“You know you can always talk to me right? No matter what.” Dick said and Jason chuckled 

“That’s why I’m here Dickie.” 

After a few minutes of silence, Jason said, “I had a bad ptsd moment and no one else was available. I mean, the others are busy in Gotham and ... I... “ Jason trailed off, trying to think of how to say what he needed to.

“I’m sorry, little wing.” Dick said with a sympathetic look.

“What triggered it?” He dared to ask 

He watched as Jason toke a deep breath. 

“I had a run in with joker.” That was all Dick needed to hear.

“Oh,” he said quietly

“B and demon brat handled it but before they got to the scene, I was there and.. I kinda froze.” Jason said, recalling what had happened a couple of hours ago.

“I really hate myself for it. I had him right in front of me and he escaped. It’s been a while since I saw him and seeing him again brought back memories.” Jason said, feeling a little more relaxed being able to talk to someone.

“I’m just glad you’re ok.” Dick said, truthfully. He didn’t think he could stand for something to happen to his little brother again. No, he definitely couldn’t stand it. Just the thought of something bad happening to any of his brothers made him shudder.

“Sometimes I think if he would have died a long time ago, everyone would be better off.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Dick agreed, causing Jason to look up at him.

“Do you?” Jason asked

“Yeah I do. I agree with Bruce’s rule but I also see things from your perspective too.” 

Jason toke another drink of his soda.

“I never thought I’d ever hear anyone in the family say that.” Jason said 

“You’d be surprised.” Dick replied 

“Nothing really surprises me anymore.” Jason replied 

“People understand you, believe it or not. Even if they don’t agree with you they do understand you.” Dick said 

“Out of all the things I could have done, I chose to go against what B taught me. I chose to use the one weapon he hates and he still hadn’t disowned me yet. If anything, that surprises me.” Jason said as he continued to eat his chips.

“You’re still his son. He loves you no matter what. Just like I do.” Dick assured him. He really wanted his little brother to understand how loved he truly was. 

“Not enough to kill for me though, right? Not that it matters anymore.” Jason said, tossing the bag of chips on the coffee table. 

“That doesn’t mean he didn’t grieve for you. He loved you so much. I use to wonder if he would have grieved that much for me.” Dick said

“He loved you more then you’ll ever know.” Dick added

“No one has ever thought I was worth avenging.” Jason said, lost in thought 

“That’s not true at all.” Dick replied 

“Well, so far no one ever has. I’ve avenged many people and I will gladly avenge my family but it makes me wonder why no one has ever done it for me. Why am I not worth it?” 

Dick felt his heart ache. His brother was worth it. He hated that Jason thought no one ever cared enough to kill for him.

“You are worth it, Jay. You’re worth so much more then you think.” Dick said

“Not really but thanks.” Jason replied, playing with some tassels on a couch pillow. 

“I’m not just saying that.” Dick said. “You never knew this but.... I killed joker once.” 

Jason looked at his brother like he was joking. Until he realized Dick was in fact being completely serious.

“What? When?” Jason asked, not knowing if he could believe it. He feared that somehow what he was hearing was wrong and he had gotten his hopes up.

“It was a while after your death. Tim was still robin and he had been kidnapped by joker. When I found joker, he kept taunting me and I thought I had it under control until he mentioned you. That’s when I lost it.” Dick said. He hadn’t talked about this to anyone. Jason listened as his brother continued.

“I started hitting him and I couldn’t stop. Before I knew it, he had stopped breathing. Bruce brought him back with cpr but that didn’t change what I’ve done.” Dick said 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me that?” Jason asked 

“I guess I just wanted to put the past behind me.”

“Do you regret it?” Jason asked, still thinking his hopes would come crashing down. 

“No,” Dick replied, his voice a soft whisper

“I mean, at first I was a little freaked out but I can’t say I regret doing it. He murdered my little brother. He toke you away from me.” Dick said as their eyes met.

“I know I was a crappy brother back then but I always wanted to be the big brother you deserved and then one day you were gone.” 

“You actually killed him?” Jason said, still in disbelief.

“Yeah, I did. Bruce thought he was saving me from myself or something by bringing him back but I couldn’t take it anymore and I couldn’t loose another brother. We were lucky to get Tim back.” 

“Not the golden boy you seem to be.” Jason remarked with a smile 

Dick smiled back. He hoped this would allow his little wing to open up more often.

“I’m not proud of what I did. I just couldn’t handle the fact that I lost my little brother and that lunatic was still breathing. It became too much.” Dick said, getting up from his place on the couch.

“So, you wanna stay the night? I have a spare room.” Dick offered. He noticed Jason seemed deep in thought.

“Jay? You good?” 

Jason snapped out of it and nodded 

“Yeah I’m good. I think I’m gonna head out.” He said, earning a puppy dog face from his older brother 

“Come on, Jay. At least I won’t have to worry about you.”

“I’m a big kid. I can take care of myself.” Jason commented 

“We’ll do this again sometime.” Jason promised as he started to the door.

“I’m already looking forward to it.” Dick said, unable to keep from smiling at the thought.

“Oh and thanks.” Jason said, turning around to his brother.

“Thanks for doing what no one else would do. Even if it didn’t last long.” 

“I’d do anything for you, Jay. You’re my little brother.” Dick said 

Jason then did something that almost shocked Dick but also made Dick want to cry. He stepped forward and hugged his big brother. It was quick but it was enough.

“See ya later, big bird.” And with that, Jason was gone.

“Later, little wing.”


End file.
